I read an article about FGM being performed in the Bohra community five years ago, and came home furious at my mom for subjecting me to this brutal practice. I remember crying uncontrollably that night. My mother was quick to apologise (she had no real say in the house and didn't even know why was it done to her in the first place) but on the contrary, my best friend confirmed this procedure was done only for my betterment. These conflicting incidents left me confused. I began convincing others who had read the article, against believing it. I told them the author was delusional. Truth is, I didn’t want to accept that my body had been violated beyond repair, even though I could feel something was amiss. I was frustrated that the internet wasn’t helping me either.

Khatna for me had panned out like this. My mother didn’t trick me into believing I was going for a birthday party or someone was going to buy me a lollipop, I was too smart for that. She told me that everyone in the building had undergone this procedure and it had been long due. I was already SEVEN, really OLD. She told me that a lady would come home, and just remove some extra skin from down there. I clearly remember constantly asking her why was it even necessary, but I don’t remember what she said to convince me. Then the day came, my great grandmother was holding me down on her bed. The Mullani first cleaned the area with cotton, she did it with no care. In fact I asked my mother if it was done since no one had ever touched me down there, so it all felt very new. Cut to, sitting on the toilet seat, crying of unbearable pain, too scared to even pee.        

My questions went unanswered for 4 years, till the day I came across another story about FGM. I would be stupid to subdue my instincts this time around. I am glad I didn’t, because today there is enough information on the internet for young mothers to make an informed decision. It’s to easy reason with a victim who understands she has been wronged, but it’s tough to deal with women in denial. It breaks my heart when people from the Bohra community say things like, “It didn’t hurt,” “this brought me closer to my daughter” etc.    

P.S. Not letting another girl go down the same road.